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In a kinda pensive mood tonight. I've been happy in general lately, but every once in awhile I feel a little lost almost. Think it's just because there have been so many changes in my life lately. Most of them have been good, some of them have been great, but still humans are creatures of habit, so any change can throw us off a bit.
One of the things on my mind lately has been trying to figure out what to do with my last name. It seems like a silly thing to worry over, but your name is a big part of you. It's what labels you and help define you. Being a surname orphan is a strange feeling. For now I've still been using The Grumpy Danish's name. It's been my name for the last 6 years now. My dad and I get along, but aren't all that close, so I don't think I want to go back to my maiden name. It seems strange that I need to choose someone else's name to define myself. I need to attach someone else to myself to be whole. It doesn't necessasarily need to be a man's name, but it's funny that men don't usually have this problem. They are who they are and rarely let someone else redefine them in the same way that women do.
I am sure you will figure it out and you will find/create a name that is *yours*. Really and truly yours. Just wanted to let you know that all of us in the fat blogosphere are here for you :)
ReplyDeleteHey lovely! I was just thinking of you yesterday! You will figure things out! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteThe other two pretty much said what I was feeling so I guess all there's left to say is good luck. You'll know what to do when the time comes. :)
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered what I would choose if hubby and I went splitsville (we'll be married for 16 years this week, so we're ok.) I love using his name because I hated my maiden name. Plus we have kids, so I'd probably keep his name. I think I'd choose my mom's maiden name, which is Lee. That would make me Sarah Lee. Or I'd just use my middle name as my last name.
ReplyDeleteHummm... that is a hard one. I would like the chance to lose my last name because of its connection to my father (a man I deaply dislike and avoid). But then again if I do that would it be denying my brother who I love? And what about my relatives on my dads side? Not that I know them that well, after all how can you know people you only seen/talked to once every 3-4 years. Nope, I would love to drop my last name, Heck even my first name since it was the name he chose after my mom told him their was no way he was giving me the first name of Maria (witch happens to be my mom and her mothers middle name). But then again taking someone elses name feels wrong to. Like say my boyfriends last name... I know a girl who took her boyfriends last name and now their broke up. How crazy would that be? My exboyfriends mom loves me like a daughter and I love her like a mom but really... she cant decide on a last name either cause she has issues (exhusband, husband thats jerky, and a iffy relationship with some of her family members). So when it comes down to it you have to wonder, what is in our name? Dose it really define who we are? If we as women take on anothers name in marraige or relationship and drop our old name what are we saying about ourselfs as indeviduals. Joining names sometimes make sence but then some poor kid ends up with a huge last name LOL... You never win either way! I figure one day I will change my last name at lease, because a woman can do that and other than people who knew her asking if she got married or divorced no one would care or notice. On the other hand our first name is what we are known as, its ingrained in peoples minds. And since nicknames never stuck to me I figure Im stuck to being Jackie in person dispite what I might like or want and dispite my online name I carry everwere.
ReplyDeleteIn your situation? think hard about it. It may be easyer to keep your old married name for a while but you also dont want people who knew you both to still thinks of you in terms of "his last name" Plus crediters might mistakenly still think your married and well... call you when they should call him. You could always find a name that defines who you are as a person and have your last name changed to that one. I have actually looked up baby names before and their are some diffrent names that have great meanings to them that would be great as last names just as well as they where first names.