Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Myself, a work in progress.

Good news, I wasn't eaten by a carnivorous giraffe or anything horrible, just haven't been in a blogging mood in quite some time. I originally started this as a Fashion Blog, or a "Me twirling around in pretty dresses blog" but it seems to of moved away from that. I haven't posted anything at all in months, but even going through the posts I had before my extended absence, I wasn't concentrating on fashion very much then. I still admire pretty things and enjoy seeing who's a fashion hit or fashion miss and such, but haven't been putting in as much effort to my own apparel as I used to. I haven't resorted to wearing Crocs and elastic waist sweat pants or anything that obscene, but my daily uniform is usually jeans and a sweater or something along those lines. I think the reason I started blogging was that I was looking for some kind of way to connect to people. (lol, or maybe even more so, as a way to be validated and complimented.) I called out into the dark vastness of the internet and actually heard something back. The best part is that I heard back from voices all over the world. I started this blog at a strange time in my life. My marriage of 6 years was dissolving and then ended. Besides being a way to connect with people, it also provided a much needed distraction. I was talking last night with someone about how we change and evolve with time. How you have memories of times long before, but despite them being your own memories they feel like they're almost of someone else. You no longer feel like the same person you once were. I feel like a different person then I was when I first started this blog. Some things remain the same, I still have the same best friends I've had since childhood, I still like shopping for secondhand junk, I still like sad movies. Some things have changed a lot, I've developed a dark and lurid addiction to sushi, I've started enjoying watching awful movies (The Room, Troll 2 and Mega Piranha are among the best of the worst) and have fallen in love again. I feel like I'm not the person I used to be, but haven't quite figured out who she's been replaced with. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I wasn't happy as the person I used to be, just sometimes a perplexing thing. I've tried to make this blog a reflection of myself, so if it's to continue doing so, it won't really concentrate on fashion any longer. I'm sure I'll still be fairly narcissistic and post a lot of pictures of myself. However, it'll probably be a bit more about figuring out who I am. A kind of journal of my thoughts and things I feel compelled to share. I'm glad to have passengers on the journey, but should probably caution you that I have no idea where we're going.